Mantra
Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough, that your mistakes define who you are and who you will become? This idea is something I have struggled with for a lot of my life. No matter how many times I have been told that my past doesn’t define me, it is still hard to shake. I know all of the things I have done as well as all the things and people I have failed. I am broken and flawed and always will be. That’s part of who I am, part of what makes me human. Humanity can be beautiful but it has an ugly side as well. That side is a direct result of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. Our Lord and Savior had a grand design for humanity but sin entered the world. As a result, we are all born with a black blemish bored into our souls. This blemish beckons all of us to forsake our humanity, cast it to the wind, and live this life in abandon.
When I think about this reality, I am overwhelmed. I know, that I don’t deserve anything God has given me and that the good in my life is completely disproportionate to the ugliness of my past. I still fail, daily - I fail God, my wife, my kids, my family, my friends, and especially myself. Failure is something I’ve learned to accept, but should that be the bar I’ve set for myself? Acceptance is easier than fighting and I am culpable. Suffering and damnation are justified by my actions and the blemish that occupies my being. At my darkest, I deserve nothing less. I know I am not God’s best, but I’m trying. It is only by His mercy that I have breath in these tired lungs. I can’t do it alone and I am crying out to Him to not give up on me yet.
Daily, I need reminding of the truth, I am forgiven! No matter how many times I accept failure He loves me time and time again despite it all. This concept is something I have had to learn, it is not easy to understand or embrace, but I think that’s the point. Forgiveness is an idea that is foreign to our blemished humanity. It does not come naturally and I think that is why it is so significant. Forgiveness is the reason our Savior suffered on this earth, why He humbled Himself and excruciatingly gave His life for ours. My past and my future have been spoken for - yes, I fail, but my failure doesn’t define who I am, I have been forgiven and redeemed in the eyes of my Savior. Let forgiveness be the mantra of your life, as it has come to be mine. Let God’s forgiveness envelope you and then relay that forgiveness to those around you.
1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Dear Father God, I pray Lord that you wash me with the blood of your son Jesus and forgive my sins. May you also help me express my willingness to forgive others. For you are an amazing God and I love you. In Jesus's name, I pray Amen.